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I have just spent the past 10 hours reading A Politically Incorrect Guide to Teenagers - a Christmas gift from my sister, who has raised two lovely young adults on her own. I am raising one horrible 12 year old daughter on my own, albeit with a pleasant ex-husband living nearby who always favours the path of least resistance and pretty much gives her what she wants.
Where did it all go pear shaped? I stopped being a rock.
Just over a year ago I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I've always been a strong independent person with a challenging and demanding career I love. I always thought I was a good role model for my daughter, and our relationship was strong.
I started chemotherapy at the same time she hit puberty.
It's been a total disaster.
I have tried sending her to counselling but it didn't seem to achieve much and now she is refusing to go back. She is so angry at me, tells me constantly how much she hates me and how ugly I am without hair (yeah, mad Uncle Jack, I know), has kicked and punched me and sometimes I feel so weak emotionally I just sit there and cry.
I know that underneath all the anger she is terrified I will die and that she too will succumb to the disease. She watched her grandmother die from the same thing. I have tried reassuring her I'll be around for some time yet, and showed her the results of the genetic tests which were negative.
I know I need to go back to being a rock for her but sometimes these days this just isn't possible. Inside I'm scared too. I'll take any advice going. |
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