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Goldfish Wisdom Forum :: Sleeping Problems |
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Subject :2 year old waking up about a million times a night..
23-11-2011 10:46:55
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| Tired Mum |
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Hullo. I'm tired. Advice please!
My 2 1/2 year old has generally been great at going to bed and generally slept through the night. For the last couple of months he's been terrible. He still has a dummy, and if it drops out of his bed, he'll cry and cry til I put it back in. So I got a dummy accessory thing, which is bigger and doesn't fall out. It also had a clip but he undoes it. So now if the second dummy that he holds in his hand falls out of bed, he'll cry and cry til I put that one back in. Two dummies? Is that really necessary?? I moved him out of his bed into a big bed and he initially loved it, but then realised he could get up by himself. Cue 20 times putting him back to bed per night. So I put up a gate at his door. Cue 12 times standing at the gate yelling his head off. So I put him back in the cot. Cue one peaceful night - bliss. And now back to waking up multiple times per night and crying his head off. For the dummy. For the second dummy. For milk. Because he's scared (that one tugs my heart strings, his little body cuddling me saying "I'm so scared, mummy"). I leave him for as long as I can stand it - up to 25 minutes but by then he's crying like he's going to be sick. Then I wait for a lull and go back in. I've been considering getting rid of the dummy (I loathe the thing now) but he's just not ready, is quite a slow-coach (walking, teeth, no interest in using the potty) and I'm loathed to take that comfort away from him. I'm a single mum, working full time, and I figure the kid needs this comfort. He doesn't use the dummy during the day at all - he sleeps at the childminder's just fine without it, in the car and when out in the pram. However, I need my sleep back. Any ideas gratefully received. |
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Subject :Re:2 year old waking up about a million times a night..
23-01-2012 01:52:57
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| helenvandy |
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Joined: 22-01-2012 12:41:18
Posts: 1
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Hi Tired Mum,
I understand! my 2nd child, 2 1/2 year old boy also wakes through night but has previously been a great sleeper. From experience with my 4 1/2 yr old when she was the same age, she did it to, and a few of my nieces & nephews kids. I have heard that at about 2 1/2 years of age the childs brain hits a new speed as it opens up to new functions, and this activity in the brain can cause them to wake, coupled with their ability to miss the odd daytime nap & the realisation that they can cry to receive attention, and it works the fastest and most effectively at night.
I'd remove all excuses for him yell out in the night, dummy as soon as he's ready - have a drip free water bottle handy for him to have night time drinks, much warmer PJ's to keep back warm etc. I've also heard that kids can understand up to 12 - 18th months above their current age, so even if he can't converse with you at the same level, he should have a good understanding of the language a 3 or 3 1/2 yr old would use ...
Its a tricky one, cause they are really good at tugging on heart strings, my boy says 'Mum My Bed' wanting me to sleep with him, but its a TRAP, if i do it once, I'll be chained to the habit.
I have heard of someone putting a mini bed at the foot of the parental bed for this case. As child waked wanting comfort, put them to bed in the mini bed, and over time, move it to hallway, back to their bedroom then remove it all together - may be worth a chance ...
Its hard work, and I hope you have good support and a chance to get some sleep through the day! |
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Subject :Re:2 year old waking up about a million times a night..
30-01-2012 07:43:13
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| Ifeelyourpain |
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Hi there,
My heart goes out to you - sleep deprivation and emotional manipulation by a 2.5year old is not easy!
I have spent 2 x 2 week stints in a sleep clinic with my 2.5yr old over the past 2 years. Although he didn't have a dummy, he has a very strong will and knows how to hit the buttons!
Firstly you need to get your husband on board with any plan of attack you make. You'll need to work as a team on this one, and suprisingly toddlers seem to respond and be calmed more quickly and efficiently by dad than mum at night.
Secondly be mentaly prepared that this might take up to a week to sort out, but it may only take 2-4 nights!
Thirdly remember that your child sleeps fine at your carers house so this is a behavioural thing.
The biggest thing I learnt at the sleep centre is that for my son to change his behaviour I have to change mine.
I would stick with the cot for the next few months, one thing at a time. I would also remove the dummy, water bottle and anything else that will become an excuse.
If you have a bedtime routine - like bath, story, cuddle and bed that's great, if not start one up. Give the child a big kiss and say goodnight, pop in the cot, walk out the room and shut the door.
He may cry, and even scream the house down, which is all protest not pain - although it'll be quite painful for you. Leave it for at least 30-40 minutes, listening to the cry - is the crying escalating or declining, if declinig do't go in, they will probably calm down even more soon and go to sleep, going in too soon will undo everything. If they are hysterical, go in calmly and emotionless - dad might be good here - offer them a drink of water, ask them to lie down and go to sleep, say good night and walk out the door, shut it behind you. Repeat until they go to sleep.
When they wake up in the middle of the night, ignore it and if after 30-40 mins they are not looking like settling, send dad in calmly and quietly with the light out, offer child drink of water, and get dad to say it's ok dad's here, now lie down and go to sleep, and ask dad to give childs head a little stroke (like 5 mins) and sit until he calms down/goes to sleep and leave the room. Repeat as needed through the first few nights, then wait longer and longer to go in - they will probably wake less and less.
It might take a month or so until this stops completely, but I was amazed that my husband had a far calming effect on my son than I. But the behaviour was that my son expected me to pick him up at night, where as my husband never did, so he was able to calm him far more effectively.
After the night waking has been resolved for a month or so, I'd then try moving him into a big bed.
Good luck and be strong, you wont look back once you've takled it! I was a much happier mum once I resolved all my sons sleeping issues x |
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